Stories too short to make individual blog posts

1. I was traveling with my friend by train out to his house by the sea for a party. We were chatting back and forth the whole time about life and how my experience had been in Rome so far.  When we get up to get off at our stop a random guy muttered something under his breath but since it was in Italian I didn’t understand it so I just continued to get off the train with my friend. Later he told me that the guy said, “Oh, finally we don’t have to listen to her talk anymore!” #loudvoice #getoverit  

2. I was waiting for my appointment to submit my paperwork to get my permission papers to live in Italy when a big  bald guy with a white beanie cap and a huge beard, like duck dynasty big, walks to the front of the line and says: “So I’m American and I would like to attain refugee status here in Italy.”  Why would anyone want to leave the states and come live as a refugee here in Italy? What did you do that would make you want to come live as a refugee in Italy? “Dear America, I have found one of your most wanted criminals. Please come get him as soon as possible. Sincerely, I hope to never meet you alone at night.”

3. My friend and I were trying to go to a concert and we followed my GPS on my phone to the location of the auditorium.  When we get there we spend about ten minutes walking around on the outside next to the highway and when we get to the other side the auditorium entrance is across the barrier and about two stories below us. Already running late, my friend asks if my GPS could now turn us into bird so we could fly down to the bottom. Unfortunately this did not work so we run back along the side of the highway till we come to a parking garage and come up the back way where they were doing construction. “No, we’re not breaking in, we have tickets, we were just uh, being creative with our entrance.” 

4. Vespas, or motorcycles, do in fact drive down the sidewalk.  While standing on the corner of a street chatting with a friend not one, not, two, but three different vespas turned onto the sidewalk and drive continue driving along with the other pedestrians. #notenoughroom #imwalkinghere! 

5. American idioms and phrases can become misunderstood very quickly. “I’ve gotta hand it to you” can literally mean that you give someone your hand; “Cat got your tongue?” would cause people to look around for an actual cat or check to see if your tongue is still in your mouth; and “Fly by the seat of your pants” just gets weird looks or if you’re from the UK it might mean “Fly by the seat of your underwear.” #language #communicationisfunny 

Being Effective = What?

Being effective and productive is something I’ve always taken great pride in. I work hard, I’m efficient, and I get the job done in a timely manner.  Upon arriving to Rome however, the efficiency I felt I possessed in the States ceased to exist.  I was suddenly thrown into a culture that didn’t value the same type of productivity that I valued.  Not only was I thrown into one culture that I didn’t understand, I was actually thrown into multiple cultures that I didn’t understand. At Rome Baptist Church there are about 40 different countries represented on any particular Sunday and each with their own idea of efficiency and effectiveness.  And to top it all off the country that I just started living in took the whole month off for vacation closing shops and restaurants that would normally be opened and causing public transportation to run on odd schedules or not at all.

So what does efficiency and productivity look like across different cultures? Even in different parts of the States, people have different definitions about what is or isn’t efficient. How is there possibly a universal definition of efficiency and effectiveness that spans across all cultures? At first I was baffled by this thought and realized I could work as hard as I possibly could to understand and relate to each culture individually and still not understand what people meant or what they expected from me.  How in the world am I suppose to be able to make an impact here at this church with only one year to learn all of these different cultures?

The other day, I started reading 2 Peter and as ironic as it sounds, this is what is says starting at verse three:

 2 Peter 1:3-9 says: “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted us to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.

For this reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.”

“For if  these qualities are yours and increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” A universal, cross-cultural definition. My pride wanted to tell me that I’m so good at accomplishing tasks and getting the job done.  But here in Rome, I’m not, because my focus has been in the wrong place.  I’m slowly and sometimes painfully, changing my definition of effectiveness and efficiency.  Peter has reminded me that there are greater things to invest in other than a check list or certain accomplishments.  This definition of effectiveness covers every culture, background, and perspective.  If you claim Jesus as your Lord then there is no excuse for you to not adopt this definition as well. It is a daily prayer of mine not to become frustrated with the people I work with or the culture I live in, but it is worth the misunderstandings and miscommunications if the gospel is shared with those who haven’t heard it and current believers are pushed to a deeper relationship with God. Whatever your job, situation, or life circumstance right now, I would encourage you to remember the larger goal of our lives and be willing to change your definition of effectiveness and efficiency.  

Different Hats

Do you ever spend the day going from one activity to the next and none of them connect to each other at what so ever? One minute you could be a musician, then a children’s leader, a coordinator, a house guest, a single and available girl, and finally a clueless tourist and foreigner. Yes, these were all the different hats I wore two Sunday’s ago. 

Three weeks ago I had agreed to sing with two other Filipino men who had arranged special music for the following week for service. And for those of you who know me well, know that I don’t like singing in public in front of people, at all. But they wouldn’t let me get out of it. The Sunday started off with broken guitar strings that couldn’t be fixed and then trying to figure out who would take care of the children after children’s sermon until I could go upstairs to do children’s choir.  Nervously waited for my turn to sing, ran upstairs and led children's choir, and then forgot to go up during the invitation to present my testimony to join as a member.  After the service I had about four different people to talk to that only come on Sundays, as well as trying to figure out my phone because my plan hadn’t rolled over like I thought it would.  I was leaving the city later for lunch so I also had to make sure my ride would wait for me while I tried to get the other errands accomplished.  After rushing through several meetings, running across the street to fix my phone, then coming back to "Where were you, I've been looking all over for you! Come on it's time to go!" I was swept off with a group of people to enjoy lunch on the country side about 20 minutes outside of the city. On the way out of the city a man stopped me and my friend and said: “Ladies, stay calm I’m not a terrorist or anything.” Then proceeded to ask us about donating to help with drug and aid prevention. It was all we could do to walk away far enough before we started busting out laughing.  Why would you start a conversation that way? Just one of the many things you encounter in Rome. 

The afternoon was spent enjoying a lovely lunch with good friends and delicious food where I was promptly set up to marry a 34 year old African who lives in Chicago and works as an engineer.  We spent the next ten minutes laughing and joking about how my “southern” family would react and probably disown me if I brought home a “black” boy friend or husband.  To laugh at something in my own culture was so refreshing and I appreciated how these people from Nigeria were able to relate to me and my culture based on time they had spent living in the states.  

At about 6:00 that evening I was dropped off at the train station where I needed to get a ticket from the automatic machine before I could go back to Rome.  I walked over to the machine and spent about ten minutes trying to get a ticket with no avail.  A security guard was standing in the corner chatting on his cell phone watching me fail at getting a ticket out of the machine.  Once he finished his conversation I politely asked him if he spoke English to which he replied that he did not.  So in broken Italian I tried to explain that I needed a ticket back to Rome.  He conveyed to me that the ticket machine is broken but I could get one at the shop. Once outside I looked around and there was no shop or building for that matter, anywhere.  Looking like a lost puppy and not sure what to do, especially since I didn’t have numbers of the people I was just with, an Armenian man asked if I needed help.  I went through the whole thing again and then the same security guard comes out and tells me in English, which he said he didn’t speak, that the ticket machine was broken and all the shops around were closed because it was Sunday and August. He said I could get on the train, but I would risk getting fined for not having a ticket. Great, so how was I suppose to get back to Rome?! I don’t have the right phone numbers and since it took twenty minutes to get there by car I knew walking would take forever! So in my final attempt I showed the security guard my metro and bus pass that I have for the city.  He said oh yeah that will work, and asked why I was asking about a ticket? Well I didn’t know how far outside the city pass worked! But I guess I do now.  So I thank him and as I walked away I heard him and the Armenian laughing behind my back about me being Inglese. Thank you, I hear you clearly, yes I know I’m English and that I don’t know your culture yet and I’m sorry I’ve only lived here a month!

Flexibility and patience are both characteristics that are indispensable for working here in Rome.  Living in Rome as a foreigner and facing all the different cultural frustrations reminds me of how Christ compared the life of a Christian to that of a traveler in foreign lands. We are not suppose to understand the culture and people we live with because we don’t belong here. I often dislike this reference especially when people then refer to heaven to our ‘real’ home as opposed to the earth.  I think that we do belong physically here on earth but as Christians we should feel like foreigners in the sense that the world we now live in is now broken.  The grace and patience that we should extended to foreigners and travelers should be the same grace we extend to other believers. We are all foreigners trying to figure out how this broken world works. Working with believers from all different types of cultures and backgrounds on a regular basis has made this truth more evident to me.  Not only do we have work against a language barrier since English is not the first language for many people, but also the different backgrounds and ideas that each person has based on their experiences and cultures.  It’s very difficult sometimes to be patient and extend grace especially when conflicts arise and communication is difficult to begin with. But God has uniquely orchestrated this church here in Rome and it shows how everyone from every culture can come together to glorify and worship the same God who created everyone equal.  We are all travelers together through this broken world and I pray that through this journey the love of Christ would be evident in all of us because He is the only comfort for this hurting world.   

If you haven't tried to wear that many hats in a single day I would challenge you to try it! You never know how you will grow and learn from that experience. Who knows, you could end up with a story funnier than mine!